How to Answer "Tell Me About a Time When You Found It Difficult to Work With Someone?" (With Sample Answers)

by Daniel Wolken

Published at: December 11, 2023

In job interviews, you're often asked to reflect on past challenges, such as when you've found it difficult to work with a colleague. This question is not about pointing fingers but rather showcasing your problem-solving and interpersonal skills.

Your response should demonstrate your ability to remain professional, communicate effectively, and ultimately overcome teamwork obstacles. Structuring your answer using the STAR method---describing the Situation or Task, the Action you took, and the Result achieved---can help you share a coherent and impactful story.

Remember, interviewers are looking for evidence of your soft skills in action, so choose an example that highlights your diplomatic and collaborative abilities.

Why Employers Ask This?

When interviewing candidates, employers often ask behavioral questions such as, "Tell me about a time when you found it difficult to work with someone?" Your response provides insight into several key areas:

1. Conflict Resolution Skills: How you handle conflicts with coworkers can greatly affect team dynamics and productivity.
2. Adaptability: Employers are interested in your ability to adapt to challenging situations and work with a variety of personality types.
3. Communication: Your answer can demonstrate your communication skills and how you express concerns or resolve misunderstandings.
4. Self-Awareness: Reflecting on past difficulties shows your capacity for personal growth and understanding your role in a team.
5. Teamwork: It is crucial for employers to gauge your ability to collaborate with others, even under stress or disagreement.

Employers are not looking for perfection; they know that working with others can be challenging. What they value is your approach to finding a resolution and maintaining a professional relationship. By asking about past difficulties, they can predict how you might contribute to their team's environment and culture.

How To Answer This Question?

When answering the question, "Tell me about a time when you found it difficult to work with someone," it's important to focus on how you handled the situation professionally and constructively. Here are key elements to include in your response:

1. Choose an Appropriate Example: Select a situation that was challenging but not overly dramatic or filled with conflict. Avoid examples where the difficulty was due to personal issues or extreme workplace conflict.
2. Briefly Describe the Situation: Give enough context to make the situation clear, but keep it concise. Focus on the professional aspects of the challenge, not personal ones.
3. Emphasize Your Actions: Discuss the specific steps you took to address or improve the situation. This could include direct communication, seeking feedback, adapting your work style, or involving a manager or HR when appropriate.
4. Showcase Soft Skills: Highlight skills like empathy, communication, adaptability, and problem-solving. Demonstrate your ability to understand different perspectives and work styles.
5. Focus on a Positive Outcome: Even if the situation didn't fully resolve, discuss what you learned from the experience and any positive outcomes, like improved communication or a better understanding of team dynamics.
6. Maintain Professionalism: Speak respectfully about the other person, regardless of the difficulties. Avoid blaming or speaking negatively about them, as this can reflect poorly on you.
7. Reflect on Personal Growth: Share what you learned from the experience and how it has helped you develop better work relationships or conflict-resolution skills.

Sample Answers

Good Sample Answers:

1. Collaborative Approach: "In my previous role, I worked with a colleague who had a very different communication style, which initially led to misunderstandings. I initiated a conversation to openly discuss our work preferences and found common ground. We established a weekly check-in routine, improving our collaboration and project efficiency. This experience taught me valuable lessons in adaptability and communication."

2. Empathy and Understanding: "I once found it challenging to work with a team member who was going through a tough personal time. Recognizing their situation, I offered support and adjusted project timelines where possible. We managed to maintain productivity without compromising work quality, and our professional relationship strengthened as a result. It was a learning experience in empathy and teamwork."

3. Positive Conflict Resolution: "During a project, I worked with someone who had a very direct approach, which sometimes clashed with my more consultative style. To address this, I proposed a meeting to discuss our working methods. We agreed on a balanced approach that combined our strengths. This situation helped me develop my conflict resolution skills and appreciate diverse working styles even as an entry level employee."

Bad Sample Answers:

1. Blaming the Other Person:"I had a coworker who was just impossible to work with. They never did their part and were always arguing with everyone. I tried to avoid them as much as possible and just did my work. Honestly, I don't think there was anything I could do; they were the problem, not me."
2. Avoiding the Issue:"In my last job, there was a colleague I didn't get along with, but I didn't do anything about it. I just kept to myself and didn't interact with them more than necessary. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than confront it."
3. Negative Outcome:"There was a team member who always thought they were right and wouldn't listen to anyone else's ideas. I got so frustrated that I ended up arguing with them in a team meeting. It created a tense atmosphere in the team, and our working relationship never really recovered."

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